i've always felt like the odd one out in my family
and i dont mean with my parents and siblings
i mean with like my extended family
most of my close family on my dad's side live quite near to us and we see them often
and i havent always felt totally happy around them lets just say
but tbh i've realised
things are better
i'm not the same little kid that was a push over and took everything to heart
in a sense i've grown and its good
and now i realise that even with all the comments and yeah..stuff
they're my family, they're always there and i do love them :)

on the other haaand
theres my mum's side of the family
who are mostly in india
and i'm fine with most of them
theres the usual teasing when i go there cause i'm english and i have like 19 cousins there
but hey thats what family's for ey
but right
my parents have, over the past few years, sponsored 3 of my cousins and my uncle to come here
for them to study and for my uncle to work and build a life here
they've lived with us
and let me tell you i live in a very small house = and it has been very crowded at times
but i'm not a brat, i've never complained, i dealt with it right
one of my cousins is married and lives in london, she was a bitch tbh, i have my reasons to call her that,
two years ago her sister came down and still lives here now
she's worse...
especially the last few months i've turned to hating her. seriously its too much now.
i'm in the room on the computer and she is on the phone to her sister slagging off my brother and sister in law! the two most important people in my life! who in their right minds does that?
not only that
but on many an occasion she has lied about my other brother
and slagged me and him off too WHILE I AM IN THE ROOM
wtf does she think? that i'm stupid and i dont realise its about me? wow you said it in gujerati cause i obviously dont understand :@
and whispering stuff reallllly means i cant hear it doesnt it?
worst beyond all was a few days ago
she slagged off the two people that she should be fucking praising!
my mum and dad!
the two people who have gone through all the trouble to get her here so she can have a good education
have given here free accomodation, food, care, EVERYTHING over the past 2 years
the people who are doing everything to make sure she has a good and secure future
how fucking dare she!
her father died when she was young
and i have never known a person so loving as her mother, my aunt. she is truly a great person
and treats her daughters as if they are amazing human beings
but they arent
not one bit
and i'm sick of them making me feel like crap when they have no fucking right
but i dont say anything. why?
cause i dont think their mother deserves to know what kind of people her daughters are
why should i offer them any respect when they can treat me and my family like such crap?
theres alot more but i cba giving a fuck anymore
i know its not nice to say
but i cant wait till she leaves this place so i dont have to face such a fake every fucking day
i dont care how harsh i sound, for the first time in ages i'm truly furious
and i think its better for my and her sake that i vent on this rather than fucking taking out my anger on her or myself physically
which, only a few years ago i would have done