loneliness

there are 5 people living in this house including me
and to be honest i feel so lonely
its nice to just be acknowledged now and again
and not so that they can tell you to do something
eeesh i miss being in london so much

its not just the place
its the people
the closest people to me are my brother and my sister in law
they are probably the only two people in the world i cant imagine my life without
i probably go on about them alot
but i dont have anyone else close to me
and they're both hundreds of miles away
soooo loneliness overwhelmes me :)

ever since i was little most of the time i'd be alone
outside playing alone
in my room alone
i blame that for my overly random and weird imagination :) haha
you'd be surprised what seclusion can do to you...seriously

from one extreme to the other
comes the feeling of overcrowdedness
which is seriously my house in a nutshell
theres always been from 5 to i dont know 10 or 11 people living in my house at one time
my house is not big its a bungalow with 3 small bedrooms
we have another house with two bedrooms across the street
but that just mostly used by people to go to sleep
and my brother (the other one who i'm quite afraid of aha) practically lives there anyway
so when you're so used to a feeling of isolation because to be honest no one really likes you much
you'd rather just be alone with your thoughts
but theres nowhere to escape to
i know what you're thinking "why not go outside"
not much of an option when everywhere you turn you're faced with evil looks and abuse
the joys of living where i do :)

what a life

dreams, religion and what the future holds keep you going
fuck the actors that play our family and friends...