exams exams exams

While i'm writing this i'm getting my mind ready for 2 to 3 hours of revising my history notes
Tomorrow is just gonna be the start
Over the past 2 days i've really put my head down and worked hard and i'm damn well hoping its gonna pay off

Around a week or two ago if you'd asked me if the fact i have two and half weeks of exams coming up bothered me
i probably would have laughed and gone "i'll be fine they're only mocks"
It wasnt until thursday night that i got thinking about it
Since probably this school year began it just hadn't sunk in how important this year is really
There was just always a few more things that meant more you know
But that night i just thought
why the hell am i thinking about stuff that isnt going to affect me anytime soon
when what i should be thinking about is life at the moment and whats happening and what i should be doing right now
which is preparing for these exams

these are meant to be "as close to the real ones as possible" so i should revise as best i can right?
i know if i had realised all this abit sooner i might have not needed to spend the next few hours cramming
but what can you do ey
better late then never :)

thursday night i felt a fear in me i hadn't felt in a very long time
i'm just wondering maybe, just really, not wanting to feel it again is the reason i'm putting my head down and revising
cause that takes my mind off of everything else
i guess in a sense its a win-win situation then :)