today has pretty much been horrible
and as the days go past things are getting worse again
its the last few weeks and i just wish it wasnt like this
i want to have a laugh
all the time
i want to go out on the field and enjoy the sun
run around like an idiot
have some fun! ffs
whyyyy is everyone so damn uptight?

at school theres 4 other people i hang out with most of the time
and when i'm with 2 its ok but boring and i feel kind of on the outside
and when i'm with the other 2 its ok but boring but again feel like an outsider
and then when we're all together its torture! no one says a word and as much as i try to engage conversation theres no response. fucking awkward or what!
i cant wait for the holidays just to get away from the people i should consider some of my closest friends
its fucked up and i just dont know what to do about it =/
advice/help anyone? hmmmmm