i have realised that if you want something done dont count on anyone else
its up to you to get it done
also
i am going to make a list of stuff i want to do this summer
i may or may not post it on here
i need to take my camera out more
i'm thinking of trying my hand at a diary again
but with photos
hence why i need to take my camera out more
i also need to do something but i cant remember :
ooops
as much as i dislike my cousins (mum's sister's daughters)
i love my aunt loads
she is so amazing seriously
peace out x
Monday, 30 June 2008
Saturday, 28 June 2008
Friday, 27 June 2008
i hate the fact that something that i dont even know will happen again still scares the life out of me
and that any sign of it gets me feeling so worried and so nervous
reading about it brings back memories
and a glimpse of that feeling that dreaded feeling
theres nothing like it
and i dont want it anymore
i dont want the fear, the worry, the emotions...that feeling
and that any sign of it gets me feeling so worried and so nervous
reading about it brings back memories
and a glimpse of that feeling that dreaded feeling
theres nothing like it
and i dont want it anymore
i dont want the fear, the worry, the emotions...that feeling
Thursday, 26 June 2008
Wednesday, 25 June 2008
i had a horrible dream last night =/
tonight i just want to have a good time
and not give a shit if i look bad or my dress keeps falling down
cause i think i've lost weight =/ eurghhhhh
i know i know other people would be so happy to lose weight but dude i'm already underweight i dont want to be even more
anywhoooo
i have a few hours to kill
then i'm off to bolton lads and girls club where i should be match ended today cause i fixed the kid haha ^^
but i'm gonna carry on as a volunteer cause nikki doesnt want me to leave her lol
and i'm a nice person!
then i'll probably be home at quarter past 6 where i then have 15/25 minutes to get ready wooooot
and i dont even know what i'm doing to my hair =/
ahhh fuck it i'll just leave it down and curly
i shall hopefully put up some pics if i dont forget my camera :)
xxx
tonight i just want to have a good time
and not give a shit if i look bad or my dress keeps falling down
cause i think i've lost weight =/ eurghhhhh
i know i know other people would be so happy to lose weight but dude i'm already underweight i dont want to be even more
anywhoooo
i have a few hours to kill
then i'm off to bolton lads and girls club where i should be match ended today cause i fixed the kid haha ^^
but i'm gonna carry on as a volunteer cause nikki doesnt want me to leave her lol
and i'm a nice person!
then i'll probably be home at quarter past 6 where i then have 15/25 minutes to get ready wooooot
and i dont even know what i'm doing to my hair =/
ahhh fuck it i'll just leave it down and curly
i shall hopefully put up some pics if i dont forget my camera :)
xxx
Tuesday, 24 June 2008
these last few days have been extremely fascinating and weird
not always in a good way
even though i was scared like fuck i was made to hold my new born baby second cousin on sunday
and it was fucking magical
i felt so happy
i dunno i just felt this connection
it was weird =/
i guess it was nice compared to other things that had happened and had angered me this weekend
anywho yesterday we had guests over for dinner
and especially when we were all younger
i was always close to all my boy cousins
and everytime one family had guests they'd invite like my whole dad's side which is like all my cousins and everything and it was great, i really miss that
so i dont get to see my cousins as much as i used to especially the boys
but 2 of my cousin brothers ( i call them cousin brothers cause even though they're my cousins they're pretty much just more brothers tbh. we are a close family of people. probably one thing i love about being indian is the love and respect in families including the extended family)
anywho it was just so good talking to them and seeing them cause nowadays i only see them now and again mostly i'll see them out somewhere with mates or they'll see me kind of thing
and we were just talking about how its leavers on wednesday
and one asked "what are you going in"
and i just pointed out the window at our cars and said how i couldnt really be bothered organising a nice car to go in etc
and he said "oh you should have just rang me i would have organised something for you and chauffered"
and then later on when the 2 of them were leaving cause they were off out somewhere he was putting his number into my phone and said "if you ever need anything, a lift, money, someone troubling you, absolutely anything just ring me"
i just found that so awesome
and made me so happy
like theres people looking out for me
i mean obviously theres my own brothers who i love to bits
but well ones in london and one i barely see so its just nice knowing i've got people there :)
i cant actually wait till this exam and leavers are over these next two days
cause then i can really concentrate on the summer and everything i want to do
i cant wait its gonna be good
i know it
not always in a good way
even though i was scared like fuck i was made to hold my new born baby second cousin on sunday
and it was fucking magical
i felt so happy
i dunno i just felt this connection
it was weird =/
i guess it was nice compared to other things that had happened and had angered me this weekend
anywho yesterday we had guests over for dinner
and especially when we were all younger
i was always close to all my boy cousins
and everytime one family had guests they'd invite like my whole dad's side which is like all my cousins and everything and it was great, i really miss that
so i dont get to see my cousins as much as i used to especially the boys
but 2 of my cousin brothers ( i call them cousin brothers cause even though they're my cousins they're pretty much just more brothers tbh. we are a close family of people. probably one thing i love about being indian is the love and respect in families including the extended family)
anywho it was just so good talking to them and seeing them cause nowadays i only see them now and again mostly i'll see them out somewhere with mates or they'll see me kind of thing
and we were just talking about how its leavers on wednesday
and one asked "what are you going in"
and i just pointed out the window at our cars and said how i couldnt really be bothered organising a nice car to go in etc
and he said "oh you should have just rang me i would have organised something for you and chauffered"
and then later on when the 2 of them were leaving cause they were off out somewhere he was putting his number into my phone and said "if you ever need anything, a lift, money, someone troubling you, absolutely anything just ring me"
i just found that so awesome
and made me so happy
like theres people looking out for me
i mean obviously theres my own brothers who i love to bits
but well ones in london and one i barely see so its just nice knowing i've got people there :)
i cant actually wait till this exam and leavers are over these next two days
cause then i can really concentrate on the summer and everything i want to do
i cant wait its gonna be good
i know it
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